Rohrschach Move IV

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Nighttime, moon-time, gliding through the midnight blue water
Whiteness of porthole reflections pelt my body with mercurial silveriness
Alone in my cabin on the sea I dream so wakeful and plot
My freedom like an old world navigating towards the New
My world is not flat, but voluptuous like Venus’s breast

My bed of roses grows tendrils as I lay in wait of docking
At freedom’s stable wooden quay
Lulled gently by the passionate waves I leave my body on the exhale
Floating like driftwood into the whirlpool of ideas to ensure my sustenance.
All expectations of future days deliberately left nameless whence I fled.

No expectations to shudder this unfolding map towards freedom
Alone am I now and at ease, gone the insidious contradictions
Of duty and what I and who should I  be.
He never ever knew my insides. His loss

On the inhale flood thoughts and volition preserved within the heart flow
Into wakefulness. I remember my parts hidden at the bottom of the sludgy well
I wash them in the gliding satin-like sea, cleanse them of the festering bilge.
You cannot own me    ever   ,  for I have wrestled and amputated myself into
This bower of freedom

Rohrschach Moves III

Flowing Water

 

Waves undulate below my bare feet
Content on the griddle-like metal deck
Prow lunging me through the lapis and emerald green liquid
Towards my heart’s desire and dream

Salt-taste delicious upon my full, parted lips
Darkest of sun glasses perched upon the sharp bridge of my nose
Jutting defiantly towards the turquoise sky inhaling the liberating spray

Waves undulate between heart and throat
Engulf these byways with torrential tears and stifling sobs of wonderment
For freedom is mine, no return ticket in my snug pocket
I am a water-birth and the way remains mine, confirmed by decades of self-denial

Close only counts in horse-shoes
This life will be mine

Rohrschach Move II

Trudging  on auto-pilot
Through the shopping mall
Furtive glances at the travel pros wares

Blue seas of lapis and emerald-green
Smite me into reveries of flight and self-preservation
Flee and live or stay and wither to inertia

Glossy, glazed paper offers white ships
Cutting silently through the depths
Close-eyed participation synchronous

Sucked-flat lungs finalize realization
Of action once consigned to the realm of “I Can’t”,
Yet buried deep into my heart like Tosca’s dagger

Up and disappear, my desire, so long unsung and blind
No travel guide, no GPS, no itinerary required
Just GO and ACT….

Easy for you to say
I squelch the inner/auto/futile arguing
The pros are my red corpuscles and the cons third-party unthinking

Babes no longer, they fly to their prizes in the world
Scuttle my chattels, pack one bag and flee
Without a whisper, nary an exhale of my air to alert the border guard

Consider no reasoning, no second thoughts
Pure mindfulness
Ticket in hand, away, away, to the sea
On vacation until death us do part.

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Rohrschach Move I

Through arguments we drug our life
20 long years
You feign love, yet drown and warp it in duty

I yearn for you (?) or some one else to
Ease my female pain of yearn-link to feel
Infirmity and fear of fecundation

Renounce to life and bend toward piety without me

Excuses galore fine-tune my distress
Bust up and placate my keenest desires
Away and alone

Better off in self-architected loneliness
Would had it been the flip-side
In ten years I will leave you at seaInside looking out.